Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Overcoming the Pain of the Sins of the Past

How do we overcome the pain from the sins of our past? There is only one way, and that is to look to Jesus, and see what the word of God says about it. Now I do not know how many of you know my past, and I am only sharing this today, because I feel led by the Lord to go out and help others who have experienced the same pain.

My testimony:
I was raised in a family full of alcoholics, my mother had left when I was only 4 years old, cursing was a second language, trying to out wit the other guy to get something you didn't work for, always trying to find a get rich quick scheme. I was sexually molested as a little girl by an old man in our neighborhood. I never told anyone, until later I shared with my husband, Rob. I started smoking at the age of 9 and started drinking at the age of around 13 or 14. I can remember coming home from school and my step mother sending me and my boyfriend to the store to get a case of beer, (they knew us, so we could drive around to the back and pick up the beer) and then about 3 hours later when my father came home, they would send us for another case, because she and I and the boyfriend had already drank the first one. It is only by the grace of God, that I did not die of alcohol poisoning. I only weighed about 75 or 80 lbs. at that time. I started running around with the wrong group of people. I can even remember 2 of the boys, my friend and I hung out with, getting arrested and thrown into prison for murdering two narcotic agents and mutilating them. (You never know who you are running with, when you don't know the LORD) God had plans for me then and He sent His angels out to protect me. When I think of some of the stupid things I have done in my lifetime, like running off with a truck driver once for a week, or jumping off a bridge in a nasty lake just because everyone else did, of being in a horrible car wreck when I had snuck out of my house one night. Or then, when growing older, working in the bars and sleeping in a different bed almost every night.
Those are just a few of the things in my sin filled past, but the one that hurt me the most the one I had to struggle with to receive forgiveness for, the one that took me the longest to forgive myself for, was the murder of two innocent babies. The more appropriate term used today is ABORTION. I thought how can a God who says thou shalt not kill, how can this God forgive me for what I have done? The answer is further on in the book, so don't stop reading with the 10 commandments or no one will ever find forgiveness. Jesus came, born of a virgin, walked on this earth as a man, then walked and carried all of our sins with Him on His back in the form of stripes, flesh being torn, a heavy wooden cross, that stood for so much more than our little puny minds will ever understand. He said, Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing. I believe He wasn't just talking about the actual people who were putting the stripes on His back, or the ones who were sreaming CRUCIFY HIM, CRUCIFY HIM, no, I believe He was talking about every single one of us, that when we are living in sin, without Him, we know not what we are doing. We do not realize the magnitude of what pain we are causing God's only Son to have to endure. But then, He Rose on the third day, and He lives today, so that we may live with Him and the Father one day in Eternity. I believe that when we continue to Sin today, Jesus feels and takes those stripes for you in His heart all over again. He was Crucified once and for all, but that does not mean when He sees you sinning, His heart is not breaking for you, because of the love He has for you and He knows what you are giving up.

Someone put it to me like this, and I have never forgotten it, and this is when I realized that YES, JESUS would forgive me also.
He said, Neta, do you think that Jesus' Blood is not good enough for you? Do you think that you are better than His blood that was spilt for all? Do you think that you have a higher place than the LORD JESUS? Because when you do not forgive yourself for what He already forgave you for, already took the stripes for, already spilt His blood for, then you are saying, His blood wasn't worth enough to cover your sin.
That hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to quit thinking about my poor pitiful self, and start looking to JESUS and what He said about my sin. I had to quit worrying about what everyone was going to think of me for what I had done, and start looking to Jesus for forgiveness instead of the world. There is always going to be people out there who will judge you, but God says, He has the final say, He has the final word, He is the author and finisher of your life, not the world. HALLELUJAH! THANK YOU JESUS!! For your mercy, your grace, Lord your Grace is sufficient for all! AMEN!

I am not saying that you will not hurt in your heart when you remember your abortion, or abortions, but I am here to tell you today, that JESUS loves you just the same as He loves the preacher, the apostles, and all the goody two shoe women in your church who you are worried about judging you. JESUS loves us all the same, none of us different, just like the two guys who killed the two narcotic agents, if they have repented and accepted Him as their Savior, he loves them just the same. God is no respector of men, I am here to tell you, that you can have peace in your life, and you can forgive yourself for the things of your past, if you will first turn to Jesus, and ask for His forgiveness, He is sitting there waiting with His arms outstretched to you for you to come running to Him, and fall into His arms, and say Lord Jesus Forgive me for my sins, I love you Lord, and I want to live my life for you. Please come into my heart and free me from my past. And Lord, now I forgive myself and all others who have sinned against me. I will walk in love not only toward others, but also toward myself. Now, Rejoice and know that you are forgiven, and Jesus will bring you through your valleys, and over your mountain tops and you will have peace and rest in the LORD.

I feel the Lord led me to share this with someone out there who is dealing with the pain of abortion and you have not forgiven yourself, write to me, and I will pray with you and for you so that you too may know the love of JESUS and His forgiveness for you. Jesus wants you to be set free from your condemnation of guilt and shame. Those things are from the enemy and not from the LORD.

James 5 v 15...And the prayer of the faith will save the sick, and the LORD will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Confess your trespasses to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed......

I Love you all, and I hope this helps someone who is dealing with the pain of the sins of their past. First you have to confess them, then you can be delivered. AMEN


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